I really missed you, Bells. The food around here sucks when you’re gone. Charlie Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 3, p.70

One thing I've noticed is that when I am alone, I eat horribly.  I hate cooking for just myself, so on the few days each year that my daughter isn't with me, I tend to go out for dinner (or order in) rather than cooking for myself.  Which is often not the best idea in the world.

Take last night.

After bringing my daughter to resident camp, I came home famished.  Hmm -- perfect opportunity to try that new mexican place that opened in town.  Since daughter doesn't like mexican, it's great timing!  So I go in & order some chicken fajitas, and an order of chips & salsa.  Yeah, I know, chips are so not good when you're trying to watch what you eat, but they just go together so well.  I also wonder sometimes if it's a texture thing.  Sometimes I just really want something with some crunch.

Anyway, the meal also comes with beans & rice.  I don't like black beans, so I opt for the refried.  I know, black is so much healthier, but I just can't seem to enjoy the taste of them.

I get home, and by this time, it's been about 6 hours since I had lunch, and even then I only ate about half, so I'm ready to dig in.  And, as I'm sure you can surmise, I overate.  Four fajitas, all with lettuce, pico de gallo & cheese, a bit of salsa, chicken, peppers & onions.  Plus some chips & salsa.  Plus about half the refried beans.  (I ate about two spoonfuls of rice before opting out of that -- the rice wasn't cooked all the way & it just didn't taste right.)

So I'm sitting down watching a movie & my stomach is so bloated.  Why do I do this to myself?  And what's worse is that I wasn't done for the night.  When I had been out earlier, I had picked up some candy to send to my daughter at camp, and picked up some Mike & Ike Lemonade candies for myself.  I ate two packages over the course of a few hours.  THEN i thought to look at the nutritional information. YIKES -- just as I suspected.  One package is equal to 3 servings (give or take).  So I ended up eating about 800 calories just on Mike & Ike's.

Yeah - I think I have decided that I need to do a few things here ....

ONE -- no more eating out when I'm alone.  I eat more than I should (filling the emotional void, perhaps??)
TWO -- make a list of trigger foods & avoid them.
THREE -- IF I do order take out or eat out, portion out what I am going to eat & box up the rest IMMEDIATELY.  NO more letting it sit in front of me as a tease.

Yes, because a vampire slumber party is the pinnacle of safety conscious behavior. Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 6, p.146

So maybe it wasn't quite a vampire slumber party, but the Boston Official Twilight Convention was an awesome party either way!  I had a phenomenal time and am already counting down the days till next years convention!   (Just another goal date to add to the list to keep me on track as far as my weight loss & health are concerned!)

I'll be posting a synopsis of my thoughts on the Con later on tonight with some pics - especially those that I'm going to use to remind me WHY I need to lose weight!!  I am so hoping for my pics next year to look HOT rather than UGH!

It sounded as if you were having Bella for lunch, and we came to see if you would share. - Alice Cullen

As is typical, I've started out well and the scale is showing it.  I'm down to 203.8 this morning.  However, I am trying not to look at the scale as the definitive marker of how well I am doing.  Scales fluctuate so greatly from day to day that it just can't be seen as the only harbinger of success.

Today I received the results of some bloodwork my doctor had requested.

Cholesterol = 211 (should be under 200)

Triglycerides = 171 (should be under 150)
HDL (good cholestrol) = 37 (should be over 50)

LDL (bad cholesterol) = 140 (should be under 100)


All in all, not the worst results possible, but not the best either.  Considering my obesity level, I'm not surprised.  (Considering my BMI is 33.9-35 (depending on my height - I'm not sure if I am 5'4" or 5'5")).

I have good blood pressure, good blood glucose levels, am deficient in Vitamin D, but other than that, all the rest of the tests came back negative.  No celiac disease, no thyroid problems, etc.

One thing I am looking into is that I am on the cusp of developing "metabolic syndrome" or "syndrome x".  Sounds hokey, right?  Syndrome X?  That can't be a real thing, right?

Actually, it is.  And I know this because my mother fell victim to it about 10 years ago. 

My mom had been in good health - so good she was a personal trainer & manager at Bally Total Fitness.  She was in her late 40's and was prepping to enter a weight lifting competition.  Within a few years, she had gained a HUGE amount of weight; couldn't climb a flight of stairs without becoming very winded & needing to sit & rest; ended up on blood pressure meds and carried nitroglycerin in her purse for those days when her heart raced so fast that she thought she was having a heart attack.  How did this happen?  No idea.  One theory is that she contracted some sort of virus in her blood stream that weakened her heart.  Either way, she ended up so bad that her doctors arranged for her to have gastric bypass surgery, to get the excess weight off of her body & give her the chance to rebuild herself again.

She is now 60, and while she has gained a few pounds, she is in MUCH better shape.  She is off all the medications and got remarried a few years ago.  Not bad for someone who was convinced at one point that she was going to die.

So what are the criteria for Metabolic Syndrome?



The Third National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey  http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nhanes.htm  (NHANES III), and the National Institutes of Health http://www.nih.gov (NIH) defined an individual with Metabolic Syndrome X (MSX) as a person with three or more of the following conditions:

• Waist circumference greater that 40 inches (102 cm) in men, greater that 35 inches (88 cm) in women
• A serum triglyceride level above 150mg/L (1,7 mmol/L)
• HDL cholesterol below 40 mg/dL (1.04 mmol/L) in men, below 50 mg/dL (1.29) in women
• Blood pressure raised; above 135mg/85mm Hg, or taking a hypertensive medication
• Fasting blood glucose above 110mg/dL (6.1 mmol/L) or taking antidiabetic medication

NHANES III indicated that 24% of the US population has MSX, and the percentage increased dramatically with age, affecting 43% of the population in 60-69 year olds. 

And how do I compare? 

Waist circumference?  about 45 (10 inches more than it should be)
High Triglyceride?  Yes (21 over)
Low HDL?  Yes (13 below)

Blood Pressure?  No, mine's fine (118/80)
Blood Glucose?  No, I'm okay at 88


So I hit three out of five. And I had a relative come down with the same disorder.  Food for thought.

So what's the diagnosis?  I need to partake in a 'heart healthy' diet & I need to exercise.  A lot.

Anyone have any idea how I can cram about 3 extra hours per day into my life?

The future isn’t set in stone. Things change. Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 14, p.290

The future isn't set in stone, Edward was right.  Things can always change.  Sometimes those changes are out of our hands.  Sometimes, they are completely within our power.  The point is to "decide what to do with what I was given". 

I make a lot of excuses, waste a lot of time, and tend to say "I'll start tomorrow" far too frequently.  I have no one to blame for my weight gain but myself.  I am the one that chooses what to eat, how often to eat, and whether or not I will make a positive decision or a negative one. 

For instance, let's say I have to eat out tonight because of our schedules, we're going to stop at the local sub shop.  Do I get the garden salad with grilled chicken & some feta cheese on the side?  Or the italian sub, with cappicola, salami & provolone cheese, lots of veggies, and oil & seasonings (not to mention the 10 inch sub roll)? 

I KNOW that I should opt for the salad, but more often than not, I choose the sandwich instead.  Which means I'm often choosing the 600+ calorie meal versus the 250-300 calorie meal (figuring a few ounces of grilled chicken, 1/8 C feta cheese & some light blush vinaigrette salad dressing, plus all the veggies, which only equate to about 50-75 calories).

It's all about deciding what to do with what I am given.  "It all begins with a choice." (Eclipse movie tag line, June 30, 2010)


Therefore, I am choosing to put an end to the bad decisions that I allow myself to make, and am choosing to become a healthier person - for myself & for my daughter.  Here are my stats, and my goals:

July 12, 2010:  206.2 pounds, 5'5" inches tall, 38 1/2 years old

OVERALL GOAL: 

To lose 66 pounds prior to November 18, 2011 (the release date of the first installment of Breaking Dawn) - 70 weeks

Short Term Goals:

By November 19, 2010 (opening date of Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows, Pt 1):  To have lost 25 pounds (18 week time span = average of 1.4 pounds lost per week from 7/12/10) 

By December 29, 2010 (39th birthday):  To have lost 30 pounds (24 week time span = average of 1.25 pounds lost per week from 7/12/10)

By March 8, 2011 (3 year anniversary of joining TwilightMOMS website):  To have lost 40 pounds (34 week time span = average of 1.18 pounds lost per week from 7/12/10)

By July 15, 2011 (opening date of Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows, Pt 2):  To have lost 50 pounds (52 week time span = average of .97 pounds lost per week from 7/12/10)

By November 18, 2011 (release date of Breaking Dawn, Pt 1):  To have lost 66 pounds (70 week time span = average of 0.95 pounds lost per week from 7/12/10)

This all takes into effect the fact that I know I am not perfect and will make mistakes.  It gives me the time to take this weight off the RIGHT way!  And it accounts for the fact that as the body gets healthier, weight comes off at a slower rate.  By including these factors into my goals, I hope that I am giving myself the room to succeed, rather than creating unrealistic expectations that will certainly fail.